Moments

In life various moments and experiences form as well as shape us into whom we have become today and how we identify yourselves. From your childhood until the age you are now! The experiences are sometimes great/good or sometimes bad, but we have grown out of them, learn from them or try to live with them, the best way we know possible. We all have falling madly in love with the “so seemed” perfect gentleman or lady; we have lost friendships that we thought would survive a lifetime. With all the good, bad and as I like to say; the unnecessary, what we all have done is, grown enormously.

For me, the moments that impacted my life the most, which are a lot, looking at my life from being born in Sierra Leone and migrating to Germany and being raised here, were more of “it can make you or break your”. I personally as a black woman in a foreign country have seen it all; racism, sexism, discrimination, stereotyping, a young adult from a well-doing home being put in a category of “she will not amount to anything on her own” but also being seen by very few for whom I really am. And I believe I am not the only one out here with such moments.

Moments or episodes in life are there to educate us, form us, make us and some cases even temporarily break us. Therefore, my questions are: what lesson can we learn from those moments? What are we willing to use to identify who we are as a person? What moments do we allow to form us for the better instead of for the worst? What can we learn from the moments in the lives of our loved ones, friends, colleagues and acquaintances or even role models that would form us in a good way to this day?

All these questions can only be answered individually; nevertheless, let me give my little take on it, from my perspective. As I am progressing, growing, learning to appreciate my surroundings as well as myself and furthermore as Glennon Doyle, puts it in her book the “Untamed” (that I am currently reading and loving) and I quote: “I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever” with those amazing but simple words of Glennon Doyle in mind, let me put it this way; all these moments were there or happened to me personally, for me to become just that. I would not be the same person I am today, if my life had gone differently, if I would not have lived through racism, discrimination, sexism as well as being stereotyped.

Some might say, it would have been way easier because a person should not have to go through any of the aforementioned in the first place, but let be real here for a second, it is the world we are living in and there is no way anyone goes through life without any of the above mentioned unnecessary situations in their lives, at one point or another. Please do not get me wrong, I agree with that thinking but sadly it is just theory/wishful thinking because of the world we are living in.

Going back to my initial statement, I sincerely believe that all of that made me, it made me stronger, wiser (as the owl is my first spirit animal; wisdom is something I like to claim), more resilient but most importantly it taught me how to treat people better. It taught me how to be more compassionate, show more empathy and love my enemies even though they don’t love me back.

So my ultimate take would be to embrace these moments, keep on leaning form them and not to judge yourself too much, when you do not react in them the way you think you should have, due to the progress or growth you have already overcome. Life is a long process of constant growth!

Wholly Marie